CopDoc Has a Kid
by Cosima-wants-the-D-elphine
Summary: Title says all. I got an anon asking for a CopDoc fic so here it is. :) *AU in which Hale has not died! Because who wants to accept that death, amirite?


"Tamsin, let's have kids!" Lauren exclaimed suddenly. Lately, she'd been suggesting this and most of the time Tamsin had found a way to skirt around the question with a nearby distraction. For example, the first time Lauren asked, they were out shopping and tampons were suddenly very important. Or another time, they were out to eat and Tamsin just so happened to be so hungry she always had her mouth full so she never got to answer. And so on. But the two of them were relaxing on the couch, not really watching anything interesting on TV.

"_Kids_?" Tamsin asked, as if she'd never heard the question before. Lauren nodded, turning her head to look at her. "_Why_ would you want _those_?"

"Because they're adorable and sweet..." Lauren told her matter-of-factly. She'd curled up into a fetal position and smiled, staring at Tamsin over the tops of her own knees.

"Yeah... Or! Or, we could... Maybe... Get a dog. Or something. I'm sure Dyson knows a few good ones. He could probably get you whatever you wanted," Tamsin suggested.

"Dogs aren't the same as children... dogs can't talk back," Lauren countered.

"Exactly," Tamsin muttered. She already had to deal with plenty of adults always trying to put her in her place. She did not want to have a small kid at home doing the same. She spoke louder in a joking manner. "Don't tell Dyson you said that."

"I want kids. They give you such joy..." Lauren continued dreamily.

"And diapers," Tamsin added flatly, rolling her eyes.

"And they give you purpose in your life..."

"And diapers."

"And they just give a light into you life."

"And diapers."

"Tamsin, are you even listening to me?"

"An— What? Hm? Yeah," Tamsin nodded, side-eyeing her. She sighed, knowing there was no backing out of this one. Lauren looked at her with expectant puppy-eyes and Tamsin tried to brush it off by rolling her eyes and turning her focus to the TV. She felt Lauren's gaze still on her and sighed when she couldn't ignore it any longer. "_Fine_. But you're going to have it. No way I'm having some drooling thing _leech off me_ for nine months only to _rip through my vagina_ later as a thank you. Uh-uh."

"That's not entirely accurate—"

"It is," Tamsin gave one sharp nod and raised her eyebrows as if proving a point. "Look, I said yes so..."

"Thank you!" Lauren exclaimed, Tamsin's answer finally sinking in. She leaned in for a hug and Tamsin reluctantly hugged her. Lauren leaned back and added, "We can get a dog too if you want—"

"No, no. I'm good," Tamsin hastily replied with a small smile. "Kids... Kids are fine."

"Okay, well—"

"One, right?" Tamsin blurted. It was tough enough accepting the idea of one child. She really hoped that Lauren wouldn't want more than one.

Lauren squinted at her, confused at what she was referring to and began, "What do you—"

"One kid, right?" Tamsin clarified, a strained innocent smile slowly spreading across her face.

"Um, sure. If that's what you want..." Lauren told her, still confused. "I don't plan on having twins... Babies typically come out as individuals..."

"That's not..." Tamsin stopped herself and smiled, keeping her patience. "Okay."

• • •

"It's a girl," Lauren announced, coming home from an appointment. Tamsin looked up in surprise as the doctor walked in.

"But I thought you wanted it to be a surprise...?" she asked, standing to greet the very pregnant Lauren. Lauren smiled.

"It will be, but there are certain signs that I can't ignore and certain things I know and... well... it's a girl."

"Um, okay..." Tamsin paused. "You're telling me because...?"

"We're going to pick names today," Lauren reminded her, ignoring Tamsin's slight irritation. "Be nice."

"Right. Names," Tamsin nodded, thinking this would be the highlight of the entire thing. "Can't be too hard."

"Why would it be?" Lauren asked.

"I don't know. What, you just name the thing after someone you care about, right?"

"What?" Lauren's brows furrowed.

"Like, I don't know. Name her after a relative or close friend. Isn't that what everyone does?"

"Tamsin, I hardly think that's the process that most—"

"Acacia," Tamsin suggested immediately.

"_Acacia_?" Lauren asked, trying the name out. Her nose scrunched up. "You're going to name her after a _tree_?"

"Hey, that's a power name," Tamsin replied with a weird smile. She wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic about her statement or not, but she decided she'd stick with it.

"I was thinking more something like... _Charlotte_. I've always liked that name for a girl."

This time, Tamsin's nose scrunched up and her eyebrows furrowed.

"You're going to name her after a literate spider?" Tamsin asked. Lauren shot her a look.

"Well, when you put it that way..."

"Right, so Acacia it is. There. Done."

"No..."

"Then what?"

"I really want Charlotte," Lauren told her.

"Why? What significance does that name have to you?" Tamsin asked.

"Well, what significance does the name 'Acacia' have to you?" Lauren retorted.

"Touché," Tamsin nodded once.

"No, I want to know," Lauren remarked. "What significance?"

"Mentor. She... was a mentor to me. Kind of like one of those tough-on-you mothers... But tough for good reason."

"That's sweet, Tamsin..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"But as sweet as that is, I still want Charlotte."

"What's its significance?" Tamsin asked.

"I just... like the name," Lauren told her sheepishly. She looked to the floor.

"Okay... So Acacia is more sentimental so we should pick that," Tamsin reasoned.

"Uh, _no_. _Charlotte_," Lauren insisted. "This is not a competition of sentiment."

"It isn't? Shouldn't a child's name be meaningful?"

"You didn't even _want_ this child!" Lauren promptly responded, crossing her arms. She shifted her weight onto one foot. "You didn't even come to the appointment!"

"So I don't get to name it?" Tamsin paused, wondering if she should say what she wanted to next. She decided to go for it. "What if I want the child now? I couldn't go to the appointment because I had... a... thing..."

"Charlotte," Lauren stated firmly.

"Acacia," Tamsin replied, matching Lauren's adamant tone.

"_Charlotte_."

"_Acacia_."

"_Charlotte!_"

"_Acacia!_"

"_Char—_"

"If you call her Charlotte, I will refer to her as Acacia," Tamsin half-threatened. She didn't really mean this, she just wondered if it'd get her anywhere. It didn't.

"Now you're just being ridiculous," Lauren exclaimed.

"At least I have a reason for the name," Tamsin shot back. She crossed her arms and looked at Lauren.

"I do too. I like it," Lauren insisted. She grew tired as she had been standing for a while and the arguing didn't help. She went and sat down on the couch.

"Look, we're both stubborn people," Tamsin said softly, making her way over to the couch. She sat down right next to Lauren and looked her in the eyes. "And we both know neither of us will waver..."

"Yeah..." Lauren agreed, nodding her head.

"So there's only one way to settle this," Tamsin remarked.

• • •

"You're putting your trust in _us_ to pick out the best name for your kid?" Kenzi asked in disbelief. She looked around the room, first at Lauren and Tamsin, then at Bo, Trick, Hale, and Dyson. Lauren and Tamsin exchanged a glance, as if they were unsure with the decision. Kenzi's confused countenance changed to an ebullient one. "That's _awesome_! So like, what're we talking here? How many names have you narrowed it down to? Give me a ball park here. How many are we talking? Ten? Five?"

"Two," Lauren answered tersely.

"_Two_?" Kenzi asked. "Lauren... Tamsin... You can't possibly ask us to choose between the two of you..."

"Nobody said anything about choosing sides. Just choose a name," Tamsin told her. But in all reality, both blondes felt it was about who chose whose side whether it would be malicious or not was an entirely different thing. But even despite all this, Tamsin couldn't help but sneak a friendly dig at the Succubus. "Besides. You know how Bo gets about choosing sides."

"Hey!" Bo replied, feigning offense.

"What are the names?" Dyson asked, refocusing the group to the task at hand. He stood leaning against the counter of the Dal with his legs and arms crossed as he looked at the human and the Valkyrie.

"Charlotte or Acacia," Lauren told them, making sure to present the names with the same tone. She and Tamsin waited for the group's reply.

"Both cool names," Hale remarked.

"Acacia is an interesting name," Trick put in. "The trees themselves may be thorny or not, depending on their location... They produce an enormous amount of tannins and, historically, they're useful not only for preservation purposes but also medicinal—"

"Okay, Trickipedia, that's enough out of you," Kenzi told him, knowing he could go on for hours about one thing. She sighed and considered the names. "Okay, well, first I thought Acacia would be good, but then I learned it was a _tree_—"

"You see?" Lauren murmured so that only Tamsin could hear.

"But then again, Charlotte _is_ a spider..." Kenzi thought aloud. Hale stifled a laugh.

"Ha," Tamsin whispered back.

"Go with Charlotte," Dyson suddenly piped up. He solemnly nodded once as if justifying his decision.

"I'll vote Acacia," Trick countered, his eyes darting to Dyson. The Shapeshifter showed no reaction and Trick refocused his attention on the women.

"Charlotte," Hale smiled after trying the name out. "That's a cute name for a girl."

"Sorry. I don't do spiders," Kenzi said at last. She shot an apologetic look toward Lauren as she uttered the word, "Acacia."

Now, Bo knew how Lauren felt about the name Charlotte. She'd mentioned it when she was locked up in Hecuba. But she also knew how Tamsin felt about the name Acacia. Heck, she'd met the woman herself. Like Tamsin had said, she did not like to be asked to choose. And now that each name had their tallies, she knew she'd be the tiebreaker. She couldn't do that to Lauren and she couldn't do that to Tamsin either.

"How about you combine the names?" Bo suggested. A series of sighs and eye rolls rippled throughout the group. Tamsin even groaned before speaking.

"_Bo_..." She whined. "_Why_ must you make everything so complicated? Just pick a name!"

"No, I'm serious. Combine them or something."

"Really, Bo? _Really_?" Kenzi asked, giving her a look as she set a hand on her hip and shifted her weight onto one foot. "What, like _Chacacia_? That's like, British for Sharkeisha!"

Hale stifled another laugh and even Dyson looked at the floor, trying to keep a straight face.

"Now _that's_ a power name," Kenzi joked. "_Bam_!"

She threw a punch at air and Hale had to excuse himself before he lost it.

"Wouldn't _Chacacia_ be a bit unbalanced?" Bo asked. "It's like... three quarters 'Acacia'— and I actually did the math for that!"

"Aw, Bo did math," Lauren smiled proudly, distracted from the debate by Bo's willingness to do math. Tamsin gave her a look.

"Oh, well would you rather it be _Acacharlotte_? How hideous is that?" Kenzi asked. She paused.

"And that one is also three quarters one name..." Bo added.

"Name your kid Acacharlotte and someone will think you took being a Barden Bella too far..." Kenzi joked. Dead silence. "Wow, seriously? No one got that? No one?"

"I got it," Hale commented, poking his head in the door.

"Of course. The Siren," Kenzi stated, throwing her hands up.

"Aca-_scuse_ me for being into singing," Hale replied, coming back into the room.

"Don't. Ever... Say _that_ again," Kenzi told him, pushing him playfully.

"Sorry," Hale responded, lowering his head and smiling. He grew serious and turned to Bo. "Be real... Name combining isn't an option, Bo. Sorry."

"You're right..." Bo sighed. She drew in a deep breath. "So there's only one choice for me. I'm withdrawing myself from the poll."

"_Bo!_" the blondes exclaimed in unison, but it was no use. No one would be able to get Bo to choose.

"Okay, I was wrong..." Tamsin sighed. "_Now_ there's only one way to settle this."

"Agreed," Lauren nodded.

"Rock-Paper-Scissors?"

Lauren nodded once more. Lauren rolled her shoulders as Tamsin rolled up her sleeves.

"Alright, let's do this," Tamsin smirked, confident she'd win.

"Yes, let's."

The two women threw out their choice, Tamsin with a balled fist and Lauren with a flat palm.

"Ha!"

"Dammit!" Tamsin huffed. "Two out of three?"

"Sure," Lauren replied, smiling. The women put forth their choices again, this time Tamsin chose scissors and Lauren chose rock. "Ha!"

"_Dammit_!" Tamsin huffed again. "Three out of five."

Lauren shook her head with a huge smile as they both prepared for another round. Lauren threw out scissors as Tamsin threw out paper.

"Ha!"

"_Dammit_!" Tamsin spat. "How do you always do that?"

"You always choose what would defeat my last choice," Lauren smirked.

"_Always_?"

"Always."

"One more."

"Fine," Lauren agreed, her smirk never wavering. They prepped again and Tamsin chose to show scissors because Lauren would more likely expect her to choose rock and less likely expect her to choose scissors since Lauren had just chose those. However, Lauren knew Tamsin well and she chose to show rock.

"Are you _serious_, Lauren?" Tamsin asked, once the results in front of her processed in her head.

"What can I say? I know you."

"Fine. Best out of—"

"Come on, this is a bit ridiculous, don't you think?" Trick asked finally, raising his eyebrows at the two women.

"You're right..." Tamsin nodded. She turned to Lauren. "Trick's right. We need an alternative."

They stood in silence for a moment.

"Why not just make one the first name and the other a middle name?" Bo suggested.

"That's a better idea," Dyson agreed. Hale and Kenzi also nodded in agreement. Trick went back to polishing glasses, knowing very well this would only create further discussion.

"So..." Hale exhaled. "Which is the first name?"

"_Acacia_."

"_Charlotte_."

The two women answered at the same time, then looked at one another.

"Flip a coin?" Tamsin suggested.

"Sure."

"And no matter the outcome, we only flip once."

"Yes."

Tamsin slowly took out a quarter and tossed it into the air, making sure it flipped, and caught it. She covered it without ever seeing it herself and took a deep breath.

"Heads or tails, Lauren? Your pick."

"Heads," Lauren replied instantly. Everyone around the room met eyes before Tamsin uncovered the coin.

• • •

"_Charlotte Acacia Lewis_," Lauren stated, making sure to articulate each syllable.

"Yep," Tamsin nodded.

"That really would've been my name?" the child asked in awe. The child sported the same dark blonde hair and soulful eyes as Lauren. He looked between his two mothers before saying, "Good thing I was born a boy. I like the name Ethan a whole lot better."

"Me too," Lauren smiled. She looked to Tamsin who nodded in agreement.

"Same here," Tamsin added, meeting Lauren's gaze for a moment before returning hers to the little boy named Ethan. "I like the name too."


End file.
